Toys

A couple of months ago I was worried that this blog had become too Aliens-centric; now I’m worried that it’s become too Prometheus-focused. Oh wait, Prometheus is in the same extended universe as Aliens, so I guess the blog is still caught in an Aliens loop. Oh well, with a name like Xenomorphosis, you really can’t fault me for spreading too much Aliens love. Today’s product review was way too enticing to pass up. We’re talking about a giant tentacle alien action figure that comes with a detachable “appendage” that’s expressly meant to orally rape a second action figure. Sorry if that sentence was a bit of a mouthful. Seriously though, the fact that this exists baffles me. This figure set would be right at home in some sleazy back alley erotic figure shop in Akihabara. Erotic figure shops: they probably exist.

Alien rape. In space.

Alien love. In space.

Perhaps even more baffling than the fact that this exists, is that it was a Toys”R”Us exclusive. Yeah, you read that right. While shopping for baby clothes at Babies”R”Us, you might as well pick up an alien rape toy before making your way to the cash. The second I saw this set announced, I knew I had to have it, and that it needed a write-up on this site. Because it was an American-only exclusive, it took some clever planning and some help from a few friends to get this exotic import delivered to my apartment in the far North (Canada). A friend of mine’s girlfriend happened to be planning a visit to Ottawa from the States. She was gracious enough to allow me to have this monstrosity shipped to her dorm, and to then risk bringing it across the border. This thing is basically a creepy sex toy, so it must have taken some real bravery on her part to involve herself in my scheme. To add insult to injury, she lives in an all-girl dorm, and apparently the set got its fair share of creeped out stares as it lingered in her room before her visit North.

In all seriousness, this is a pretty cool set. I just couldn’t resist poking some fun at the nature of it. I tease because I love. As I mentioned earlier, this set comes with two figures: a “battle damaged” engineer, and a trilobite. Just to refresh your memory, the trilobite was the large tentacle alien that impregnated the engineer at the end of the film. This set was specifically created to reenact that scene. As far as I can remember, the term trilobite isn’t actually mentioned in the film. According to Prometheus: The Art of the Film, the name trilobite was coined because the creature was partly influenced by the appearance of actual trilobites.

Trilobite vs. Engineer (Battle Damaged)
Manufacturer: NECA
Release Date: November, 2012
Height: 8.5″ (Engineer), 17″ (Trilobite)

As with NECA‘s pressure suit engineer figure, these figures are incredibly detailed. Aside from some minor changes, the engineer is nearly identical to the aforementioned pressure suit engineer figure that was released in September. The hands are flexed differently, there’s some burn damage on the upper chest and face, the mouth is open rather than closed, and the paint job is slightly darker. Other than that, you’re looking at the same figure. For whatever reason, the engineer feels sturdier this time around, but it’s difficult to pinpoint exactly why. Perhaps it’s because the joints seem less stiff. As with last time, the figure isn’t very posable, but in its defense, it’s really only meant to assume one position. The burn damage and open mouth serve to accentuate NECA‘s craftmanship: each individual tooth is independently sculpted, and the scar tissue is rendered in minute detail. As I’ll explain shortly, the mouth is open for a reason…

Here you can see the feelers and "petals".

Here you can see the feelers and “petals”.

The trilobite figure is pretty interesting. From a distance it looks like a giant spider, but it has 7 large tentacles rather than 8 arms. The top of its body looks somewhat like an actual trilobite fossil. The underside of its body is the most interesting part. There are 6 petal-like protrusions that give the impression of the opening of a flower. Jutting from the petals are 6 whisker-like feelers. Although the figure looks like it’s fairly posable, in practice it really isn’t. The large tentacles are bendable, but they can’t be permanently bent into a new position. This seems like a big missed opportunity, because the figure could have been infinitely posable. In addition, the large tentacles are prone to dislodging from their sockets when you attempt to bend them. Luckily they fit back into place with ease. The overall detail is adequate, but not as impressive as the engineer. That being said, I’m probably just being  nit picky, because the trilobite is inherently less detailed than the engineer.

I’ve saved the best for last. When looking at the packaging for this set, there are three separate parts: the engineer, the trilobite, and a long detachable “member”. This member/penis can easily be bent into any shape. No curve is too nimble for this knob. If only the tentacles had been fashioned from the same material. One end of the penis fits into a groove in the underside of the trilobite. I can only imagine that it comes separately to avoid potential outrage from the parents of the one or two kids who chose to buy this sex trap from Toys”R”Us. Fear not, the head of the member fits snugly into the mouth of the engineer. Remember how I mentioned that the mouth is open for a reason? Yeah… To be fair, this set does re-enact an actual scene from the movie, so it’s not as if NECA was responsible for imagining this exotic display of affection between man and alien. That being said, I don’t specifically remember the penis looking so much like a penis in the film. Call it creative license, but the detachable sex object actually has a circumcised tip. As my roommate put it: “I don’t remember that level of detail in the movie…”

The trilobite looks sort of like an actual trilobite, but with large tentacle appendages.

The trilobite looks sort of like an actual trilobite, but with large tentacle appendages.

So, should you buy this perverse package? There are a probably a couple other people on the planet who will find this set as funny and appealing as I do. Like I said, the moment I saw this advertised, I knew I had to have it. Anyone who buys this will know exactly what they’re in for. You get a near perfect re-creation of the trilobite/engineer scene from the movie, so if that sounds interesting, don’t hesitate to make this purchase. As with anything from NECA, the figures aren’t flawless, but they’re pretty decent. Plus, I’m sure this will become extremely collectible, so if you’re smart, you’ll buy several copies and keep them in the packaging. Personally, I sacrificed my retirement income by opening the box to take some photos for you, my readers. Oh well.

As promised, I will one day return to Alien Rip-Offs in Film. Until then, please join the facebook page. I try to post a fair bit of sci-fi horror/sci-fi military news items, so it’s really the go-to place for random news posts that don’t merit a blog post.

Clicking this link will bring you to this product’s Amazon page. Should you choose to purchase it, I will get a small commission, which will then be reinvested into the site. Although I’m including this link, my review’s and opinions will never be influenced by the opportunity to make a commission. This site is a labor of love, but costs money to maintain, so think of any commissions as a donation to the site.

I shot and edited these photos your enjoyment

Unsurprisingly, Prometheus was my favorite movie of 2012. It was what I referred to as my “most anticipated movie of the decade”. How could it not be? Ridley Scott, the master of science fiction movie direction, returning to the genre after a 20 year absence. And more importantly, returning to my favorite series of all time. I must have watched the trailers dozens of times before lining up to see the movie on day 1.  I went with a friend who also happens to be an Alien super fan, and to put it simply, we weren’t disappointed. You know you’ve seen a good movie when you can spend the remainder of the night debating every subtle detail and nuance. As far as I’m concerned, the art direction, screenplay, atmosphere, and performances were near perfect. And as an Alien fan, I love the connections between Prometheus and the Alien series. Establishing the alien as a bioweapon was ingenious, because it allows for near infinite variations of the xenomorph and its life-cycle. Truly the epitome of infinite horror in space.

Engineer (Pressure Suit)
Manufacturer: NECA
Release Date: September, 2012
Height: 8.5″

A nice shot from the film for comparison

A nice shot from the film for comparison

I love that external rib cage

Anyways, enough gushing about Prometheus; the purpose of this post is to give my impressions of NECA’s Engineer (Pressure Suit) figure. Before I begin, I’d like to stress that I am by no means an action figure connoisseur. I sometimes indulge in figures from my favorite movies or video games, but I am far from an expert on the finer details. That being said, I really want to see every form of media covered on this site, and I can’t pass up the chance to write my first action figure review. So let’s get this show on the road.

As I mentioned previously, Prometheus has gorgeous art design. The conceptual designers, led by Arthur Max, did an incredible job with the creation of the Engineers. The pressure suit they wear is a perfect blend between sleek, modern sci-fi design, and Giger’s original vision. Giger’s familiar ribbed shapes are present, and the chest is actually enveloped by an exoskeleton-like rib cage. As a quick piece of background information, the purpose of a pressure suit is to counteract the damaging effect of exposing the human body to a low pressure environment, like you might find in Earth’s upper atmosphere, or in space. When exposed to a low pressure environment, the human body expands, thus damaging sensitive muscles and tissues. Pressure suits counteract this expansion by mechanically contracting (exerting a counter pressure). There, you’ve now learned a science lesson from an action figure review; pat yourself on the back.

I love this bit of imagery. The mask is killer.

I love this bit of imagery. The mask is killer.

Prometheus Engineer (Pressure Suit) — The bum is made of a rubbery material

Released in September along with a chair suit engineer figure, the pressure suit figure is fairly tall, standing at 8.5″. I did a quick calculation, and if the engineers are approximately 7-foot tall, the scale on this figure is 1:10. Like the other NECA figures that I’m familiar with, the detail is superb. There are indentations in the neck that are a shorter than a millimeter apart. Similarly, there are tiny painted dots on the irises that are teeny tiny. Most importantly, the detail is on par with the models from the movie. Nearly every shape, curvature, and indent is represented. In this regard, NECA has done a great job. Taking the hands as an example, every fingernail, knuckle, and vein is perfectly sculpted.

My first minor gripe is with the body proportions. The abdomen seems to be slightly more elongated than it should be. The discrepancy is ever so slight, but the added height gives the impression of the engineer being skinnier than expected. My more major concern is something that seems to be somewhat universal among NECA’s figures. The toy is difficult to articulate, and as a result feels fragile. There are 14 points of articulation, but most of these points are fairly rigid. Although I doubt any of them would snap, some degree of caution is warranted. My engineer’s left hand, in particular, keeps falling off. Luckily it snaps back on easily enough… Essentially, this probably wouldn’t be a great toy for young kids, but then again it’s not exactly marketed towards kids.

The dressing room

The dressing room

More photoshopped goodness. If you intend to use these images, please just make sure to credit me. Thanks.

The final element I’d like to emphasize is the paint job. In short, the paint job is quite good. Because the model only consists of two tones, it would be fairly difficult to have screwed this up. If I was forced at gunpoint to paint it myself, I’d be relieved, because the job could easily be done with a dark primer and several layers of simple drybrushing. Nevertheless, every detail is appropriately shaded, and as I pointed out earlier, the paint job on the eyes is particularly impressive. If I were to point out one flaw, it’s that the underlying dark tones aren’t as dark as they could be. Had they been darker, the details would pop out even more prominently.

In summary, this figure is highly recommended for any Prometheus or Alien fans. There are several flaws, but overall they’re quite minor, and shouldn’t negate a purchase. NECA makes figures that are great for my desk, but maybe not so great for kids. Either way, I’m satisfied. If you liked this review, please send me an email at xenomorphosis@gmail.com, or on the facebook page. I plan to do more figure reviews, so any suggestions are much appreciated. Until next time, keep it classy space cadets!

Clicking this link will bring you to this product’s Amazon page. Should you choose to purchase it, I will get a small commission, which will then be reinvested into the site. Although I’m including this link, my review’s and opinions will never be influenced by the opportunity to make a commission. This site is a labor of love, but costs money to maintain, so think of any commissions as a donation to the site.

Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that glare

Wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that glare